Letters to and fro
by Eruanna Eire
Summary: Dom and Neal were more like brothers then cousins,and yet hardly ever got to see each other. My take on some of the letters that kept their friendship alive over the years...
1. Chapter 1

I always thought it would be fun to explore the relationship that these two have… So here I go! Lol Please review and let me know what you think. Xxx

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Dearest Meathead

How are you doing? I heard from Uncle Baird that you took a serious rush of blood to the head and decided to leave the university and become a knight?! Did you suffer from temporary insanity? Last time we met you snapped your bow string and dropped the bow on your own feet! While it was endlessly amusing, it does not bode well for someone wanting a career as a knight.

As you have no doubt been informed, I have been accepted into the ranks of the King's Own. It's a dream job for me, I've been placed in Third Company, under Captain Flyndan, but in reality it's Lord Raoul, (the Gaintkiller) who leads it. I can't wait to see how he works.

On top of all that, there is not only the rather obvious benefit, of me loving my new found career, but the added bonus of the Ladies. It turns out that no woman, whether she is a court lady or peasant can resist the uniform, of course it helps that I'm dashingly handsome! (Don't scowl at me '_Nealen_' the wind might change and your face would be stuck like that!)

Well I have to go; my Lord wants us to run a couple of miles every morning to keep in shape. There is talk that we'll be heading into the desert soon, so my letters may take a bit longer in reaching you.

Joking aside, you'll be fine as a knight and I've no doubt will uphold the Queenscove honour. Just don't do anything silly, i.e. get yourself into too much trouble; Lord Wlydon is a conservative of the worst kind!

Your dashingly handsome cousin

Dom

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Well you know what I'm going to ask now – please review!

Thanks

Xxx


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two, in which Neal writes back! Please review…

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Dearest 'Woman repulsing' Dom

I did not take a serious rush of blood to the head as you so charmingly put it. I am forgoing my career as an amazing healer to uphold the Queenscove honour. As you are probably not aware; having studied fewer scrolls then my intelligent self, only the Naxen's have more Knights listed, on the role of honour.

I have already had the supremely good fortune of meeting that simply delightful Lord Wyldon, and alas despite you're somewhat late warning I have already gone and landed myself in a small spot of difficulty, (do not roll your eyes at me!).

In my defence it was not all my fault, I did not as father says provoke him, I simply pointed out that his grammar was wrong. Apparently he didn't appreciate this 'helpful' advice; I personally thought it was vital it was corrected as he is working with young impressionable boys.

It gained me a weeks worth of scrubbing pots, and those cooks, they cause me to shiver, I merely gave them a couple of recipe suggestions and they gave me the dirtiest and smelliest pots around!

Has Lord Raoul mentioned the latest court scandal? Probably not, in which case, take a seat and prepare for a shock… (Don't glare, these are not needless theatrics!) After ten years, a girl has finally come forward and applied fro her knighthood!

However it was not as simple as that, our darling Wyldon has said she must be on probation – completely unfair! Not only this but father tells me that he has got the king to ban the Lioness from all contact, she was soo mad, to all accounts stormed out of the Kings study, and he has been walking around in a sort of daze all week.

There is a goddess living at the palace! She is the most amazing creature on two legs, wild curly brown hair and the most amazing blue eyes you have ever seen… Unfortunately she persists in living with that old man!

Your, madly intelligent cousin

Neal

P.s. you have got to drop that gods dammed name!

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Well? Please review…

Xxx


	3. Chapter 3

Another Chapter! The third in 2 days! I'm on a role! Lol please review and let me know what you think! Xxx

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Dear _Meathead!_

I am only going to stop calling you that name when you stop acting like one! Really, you've only been at the palace for 3 weeks and already you're in trouble. Your side of the family must have inherited all the madness! First rule of thumb, never insult a cook, they have far too much access to the knives!

Hmm this girl you describe could it be Diane? Really Neal you aim to high, and he is not that old, she is in love with him! Whereas you, are suffering from a crush. Find a normal court floozy, I recommend Lady Annabel, (and don't tell uncle I said that).

Speaking of girls, actually I had heard about this new page, Keladry of Mindelan. My Lord was talking about her the other day; apparently her father was the Yamani ambassador. He was unsure as to whether or not she would have received any weapons training though. Lady Alanna's temper is famous; most of the men have bets on that she'll be back in the palace within a month after Keladry arrives.

The desert is amazing, some of the tales the local people can tell… I met this man the other day, who was present the day that the King and Lioness drove the demons out of the Black City, only he referred to them as the night one and burning brightly, it sent a shiver down my spine just listening…

Unfortunately the lovely Bazhir ladies have too much pride and modesty to get involve with a simple soldier like myself, and I can never be 100 sure what they look like under all the veils they insist on wearing, ah well I should be back in Corus for the September batch of court ladies! Till then I shall have to be alone…

Your unfortunately single cousin

Dom

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Review please! I'm addicted to all reviews!

Xxx 


	4. Chapter 4

Here goes again, please review, that's what keeps me writing….

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Dearest Domitan 16th August

If you will persist in calling me that ridiculous name then I shall resort to calling you your full one!

I am not aiming too high! I expect that any day now she will come to her senses and want to get to know me better, why just the other day I was down in the stables grooming Magewhisper when she came over and we had a full blown conversation! Did I ever mention how amazing her eyes were? Like deep pools, I could drown in them.

However I did take on board your advice about the certain other Lady, unfortunately, having become a humble page, I am no longer about to attend all the summer frivolities! Alas it pains me…

I was talking to Prince Roald the other day and he was able to tell me that Lady Keladry will be arriving in the first week of September, that should cause some excitement, though I can't help but feel that some of my fellow 'pages' will not make her life easy. I hope she is strong willed: she'll need every ounce of her courage.

Dom it is not that the girls in the desert are any more modest then the ones here in court, it is just that they appear to have some common sense. Why any woman would want to get involved with you is beyond me, surely they can see that you're just a flirt, and now that you're in the Own you can't marry! Try talking your way out of that one! (Don't sigh, or pull faces, it's extremely childish).

Father is still trying to talk me into returning to the university, I don't think he fully understands why I'm doing this, what it means to me. I have to do this, it was the greatest service my brothers felt they could give, and I'm not going to let them down.

I have to go, the bell for lights out rang ages ago and if the Stump catches me, it'll be the pots for a month! I'll see you in September

Your seriously misunderstood cousin

Neal

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Review please!

Xxx


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to all those who reviewed the last chapter! Big hugs!

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Dear Nealan / Meathead 27th August

Your full name is almost as bad as mine! So there! (Don't look so injured, it doesn't become you!)

The Stump? I'm almost afraid to ask, almost but not quite! I expect a full description as to why you call him that in your next letter! Lord Raoul read that bit, it made him laugh, he claims he'll never be able to look the man in the eyes again.

Our training here is like nothing I have ever experienced, I thought I was reasonably fit when I left home, apparently I was sadly mistaken, I have never run so far, done so many press ups or practiced scores of sword drills. It feels great, well actually I'm a solid mass of bruises and I broke a finger, but none of that seems to matter because I've been promoted to sergeant! I know I've only been in the Own for a couple of months but my squad leader was killed in a scuffle with some hill bandits and Lord Raoul says I have a natural talent for command! Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle, can you believe it? I'm still pinching myself!

Hmmm sounds like you have a couple of right regular charmers in your year. Neal, you have to stop them getting to her, Tortall needs more warriors, if they happen to be women, fair enough. Even if you can't help her directly at least make sure she has hope. (That last bit came from our Knight Commander, he seems very concerned about this girl's future, and I'm willing to bet Alanna has asked him to look out for her!)

Your brothers would be proud of you, and I think that deep down your father knows why you are doing this. He is just scared of losing another son, hence don't get yourself killed, or damaged in any way!

There was a new recruit in the Own last week, Lerant of Eldorne, Delia's nephew, he seems like a good enough sort, he applied to the army, navy and riders, even though his birth entitles him to more, my lord took pity on him and so he is now Third Companies official flag bearer.

I'm choosing to ignore your comment about the women, just you wait till I get back, and we'll go into the city and see who it is that the ladies flock to… Hmm I believe you mentioned her eyes were 'like deep pools', well so are mine, but I don't believe you ever expressed an interest in gazing into them! (Stop glaring).

Your beautiful eyed cousin

Dom

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Please review!

Xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Hello again, I just realised that I haven't added any disclaimers! Opps, well here it goes:

I don't own any of the characters or places recognised: I just borrow them!

You know the drill, please review.

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Dear Sergeant Dom!

So much has happened since I last wrote to you, i.e. Keladry has arrived! I took your last letter to heart so after much debating with the Stump, (and three more weeks of torture in the kitchens), I have become her sponsor.

I guess I was expecting something similar to Alanna but she's completely different. For a start she's tall, at least a hand taller then my little sister. She has pale brown hair, (I suspect it may get highlights in the summer sun), and hazel eyes, with green flecks in them. I would be lying if I said she was a stunner, but none the less, there is something attractive about her.

I was shocked when she questioned my motives for sponsoring her; she wanted to know why a son of a Duke would want to sponsor her! I think I set her right, it was one of the few occasions were I was rendered almost speechless, (don't look so shocked, it does happen occasionally)!

You can tell Lord Raoul tat she did receive some training in the Yamani isles, the other day, she almost threw the Shang Horse, quite a feat considering that it was only her first lesson! She also knows archery, but not to the same standard. Her pole work is good as well, but she has a completely different technique, she has learned the glaive, (it's about 5 feet long with a steel blade at the end, quite a monster)!

Ah yes, weaponry is not the only thing she was taught during her stay with our Yamani allies, she also has this gods cursed mask, she just slips it on and her entire face goes blank, you can't tell what she is thinking, it drives me mad!

Anyway, congratulations on your promotion! I told father and he was equally delighted, I was always sure that your bossiness would be put to good use! (I'm only joking, don't get all het up). Although I'm glad that you have to do all the exercise, at least I'm not the only one who is suffering.

As for the girl conquest, bring it on! I'm almost sure that no one will be able to resist a page, not in our dashing uniforms, and topped off with my good looks! Really it's not fair on the poor ladies.

Yes, on to why I call Lord Wyldon the Stump, well my main reason is that he is so unbending, I believe Lady Alanna once remarked, that if he was any stiffer she would paint a design on him and use him as a shield! I couldn't pass up on a chance like that, and the name came to me in a flash of inspiration.

I see you in a couple of weeks

Your inspiring page cousin

Neal

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Please review!

Xxx


	7. Chapter 7

Dearest Meathead

Well I believe that I successfully proved that I am the lady killer! While you struggled to get a single Lady / whore to look at you I had to beat at least 4 off with a stick / sword. To be fair though, I think it may be your uniform; it makes you look about twelve! (Don't pout!) Ah well it certainly made me smile, and that one woman who asked where your parents where; hilarious, it made my week.

I can see what you mean about Keladry, I only glimpsed her once, on my last day of palace life. It was while she was jousting, everyone else in my squad bet she would come straight off. Except of course you ingenious cousin here who won a meal at the Jugged Hare, it was lovely, I may have got a large handover as a result though…

Having seen the famous man up close I have to admit that yes he does indeed suit the name 'Stump', why does he let Keladry ride such a large horse? Surely he sees that she can't control it. It would seem like he is determined to make her give up.

On to a completely different subject, you know the fief next to Queenscove, what was the eldest daughter's name? It' just that we are visiting there within the month and I seem to remember that she was quite good looking…

The Lioness has been riding with us for the past week, I take back what I said about her calming down and returning to the palace, she is livid. If she ever forgives King Jonathon it will be a miracle, Lord Wyldon is lucky that she isn't allowed to duel men on personal grounds, else wise I'm pretty sure he'd have a sword pointed at his neck!

Well I must go, my squad and I have scouting duty this evening.

Your lady killer of a cousin

Dom


	8. Chapter 8

Hello again! By now you probably know what I'm going to ask – please review! I need to know what your opinion is….

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Dear Dom

That Lady was clearly referring to the street urchin that was standing behind me! With my dashing good looks and rugged charm no one could ever mistake me for a mere boy!

Lady Gwen is off limits! With her long silky flowing dark locks and deep brown eyes, she is not someone who would want to waste her time on you! Besides all that she is probably getting ready to be presented at Midwinter and will therefore have no time for a simple Sergeant such as yourself…

After a long and deep train of thoughts I have come to the conclusion that Kel is completely mad. The other day she 'fell down' along with three other boys, one of whom just happened to be the extremely well known conservative's son: Joren of Stone Mountain. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions as to how her fall came about.

Anyway, she managed to get her delicate nose broken, a lovely sunrise of an eye, cracked ribs and countless other bruises! Father said she had been royally pounded, and he's treated a fair few pages in his time.

Of course I questioned her about the fight, but she claimed that she'd started it simply because she didn't like the shape of one of the boy's noses! (Don't shake your head or roll your eyes at me, I'm well aware that this was not the real reason). I have the dubious pleasure of being surrounded by noble fighters, and no one seems to fully appreciate my books! Where this shocks and on some level appals me I have a feeling that you would love it here…

It was your squad that saw her joust? That monster she was riding is called Peachblossom, for some unfathomable reason it would appear that he does not like me; the brute tries to bite me if I try to pat him!

All this after Diane has been to see him; I shudder to think what he must have been like before. It terrifies me to see Kel up on him, however Diane, (that divine creature) says that he feels that Kel needs protecting, it's the one thing that we agree on…

Well I have maths homework to do so I must go.

Your Delightful cousin

Neal

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Reviews are much appreciated….

Xxx


	9. Chapter 9

Heya! Here goes chapter 9… Review and give me some feedback please…

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Dear Neal

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your last letter. I never did get to meet the famed Lady Gwen, my squad was sent on a supposedly simple mission, to retrieve a set of documents that interested sir Myles – we were about 6 miles from the rest of Third Company when we were ambushed by a group of Spridens and bandits. I lost two of my men and was slightly injured…

It was awful Neal, those men were following my orders, and if it wasn't for me they might still be alive, not in the Dark Gods realm. Lord Raoul assures me that I did everything right, I think he is only saying that to make me feel better. Whatever his reasons it doesn't take away the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, every time I close my eyes I see their faces, the way they looked so shocked as they died, was it my fault?

I had to write to those men's families, to let them know that their sons / brothers would not be coming home on leave; that they wouldn't be returning, ever… It was possibly the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

I'd never fully realised before, but I have the lives of ten other men in my hands, one wrong decision on my part and they could all be dead…

I can't really think of much else to write about at the moment. I'm sorry, I just wanted to let you know why my reply was taking so long. Tell Kel to keep her chin up, she sounds like an admirable person. I'll write soon

Dom

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Well what do you think, I felt so sorry for Dom while I was writing this!

Please review and let me know….


	10. Chapter 10

I know this one is quite short, but I'll have chapter 11 up fairly soon…

Meanwhile please review and tell me what you think!

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Duke Baird of Queenscove,

I am writing to you concerning your nephew, Domitan of Masbolle. As you are no doubt aware, he is a Sergeant in the Third Company.

Recently he and his squad were attacked by a vicious group mixed with immortals and hill men. Unfortunately two of his men were killed in action, however if it hadn't been for your nephews quick thinking and bravery it would have been a lot worse. He is to be highly commended.

That is not the main reason I am writing to you though, regrettably during the skirmish Dom was seriously wounded. In protecting an injured man, he was hit by a poisoned arrow, and is lucky to be alive as he suffered from severe blood loss and a dangerously high fever.

I was wondering if you could pass this news onto his mother, but please be sure to inform her that he is going to be fine.

Yours sincerely

Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak

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Dear Dom

Snap out of it! You're a brilliant commander. Lord Raoul wrote to father and told him all about it; he said that if it hadn't been for you, the whole squad could have been killed!

I am quite prepared to admit that you have a hell of a lot of responsibility on your hands, but I believe that a little birdie told me, (Raoul and actually he told the King) that your men trust you one hundred percent and that they would follow you into certain death and beyond. (Don't let this knowledge go to your head).

I'm going to keep this note short, but I fully expect you to write back soon. In fact, if you don't I'll tell Kel about your hate of peas, (she is a stickler for making innocent pages eat their vegetables!)

Your cheerful cousin

Neal

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Well? Review please…


	11. Chapter 11

Hellooo! Thanks so much to all who are reviewing! It really is what's keeping me writing.

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Dear Neal

I apologise for my letter a couple of months ago, I realise that it was filled with self pity, not really something you I should have burdened you with. However words can not fully express how thankful I was to get your note, (it was far too short to be considered a letter), it really made me put things back into perspective.

Tell Kel about my dislike of peas, why would you sink to such levels? Besides it is not a childish dislike as yours is; I'm fully convinced that I may be allergic to the evil creatures! Does she actually make you eat vegetables? She must have some hold over you, I remember aunt begging with you to eat carrots, and uncle threatening to make you sleep in the stables if you didn't. I believe you spent a week in the stables until the hostler complained that you were a pest!

Neal, as you know I would never pry, and certainly never tease you, but when I reread your last letter I couldn't help but pick up on the bit where you said that Kel needed protecting and that you were the one to do it. There was something in the way that you phrased it, which leads me to wonder, 'does Meathead have a crush on the lady page?' After I noticed this interesting piece of writing I perceived other interesting quotes, such as 'her delicate nose' and 'deep eyes'.

Well I must admit that at the start I was shocked I am now coming to terms with the development. Some of the men from the other squads who were with you on the training camp said that she had an interesting air about her, something that made you stop and take a second look. Still it is a big step from your normal court floozies. I was livid that I couldn't come and tease you but my squad and I are back in the desert regrouping and training the new recruits.

As for the camp itself, well done, I hear you and your fellow peers were quite a lot of help, even that you managed to spear a spridren through the stomach. You may label me impressed and ship me to Carthak. In all seriousness though I'm proud of you, perhaps there's hope for you as a knight yet!

Your shocked cousin

Dom

P.S, tell Page Kel I said well done, to get Wyldon let her stay, she must be something special…

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Please review…

P.S, has everyone read my other wee stories? My favourite is "The Unsung hero" but no one seems to have read it… 


	12. Chapter 12

Heya, sorry I know that it has been ages since I last updated, but I've been so busy, I typed this chapter in the car coming home from Belfast! Lol I should get a couple of chapters up in the next couple of days…

Please review and let me know what you think. Xxx

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Dear Dom

What do you mean 'shocked' cousin? You should have learnt by now to expect brilliance from me! I am prepared to admit however that I was thoroughly sick after killing that thing. Its blood was everywhere and it had this shocked expression on its' face, somehow I've never though of spidrens as nothing other then monsters, but this one made me reconsider, perhaps they have feelings after all. (Don't screw up your face, it's not a pretty look and if the wind changes you'll be stuck with it!)

Fancy Kel!? You are loosing your mind, I mean she's pretty in her own way and does have an air about her, and when I think about it, it's amazing to watch with her glaive, (it's like dancing). But actually fancy her, in an, 'I want to go out with her' way! Nope, not a chance, and even if I did, (which I absolutely don't) it's not as if she'd like me back or anything…

Kel has yet again taken temporary leave of her senses and adopted the ugliest dog you could ever set eyes on. It is missing an ear and its tail has more bends in it then a cork screw!

You are most definitely not allergenic to peas! It is merely a dislike which you exploit, and your poor mother believes you… I feel exactly the same way about all types of green food, and yet you make my life miserable about it, at times Domitan you can be such a hypocrite!

Do you remember that lady you tried to court last year? It was a bet I believe, you kissed her for 5 nobles and she claimed that you'd broken her heart… Well she's here at court, and is such a man eater.

She must have lost at least 30 pounds, and I'll swear that she's done something to her hair. Well anyway, my point is that she is now classified as a stunner, and my new challenge to you is to make her fall in love with you all over again! Next time you're at court you have to kiss her at least once and get her to utter that fateful phrase, "I love you." Are you up for it?

Well I have work to do, so I'll leave it here.

Your ever so amazing cousin

Neal

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Please review xxx 


	13. Chapter 13

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Dear Neal

The COW! As you know I am always up for a bet, but this is asking a lot, even for you, she went to your father last time! He almost hit the roof… However if I get to name the odds then yes I am up for it…

Here they are, if I do it then you pay me 15 gold nobles and must refer to me as 'my lord' for the duration of my stay at the palace, as well as admitting your true feelings to Kel. However if by some small chance of nature I should lose, (I won't so don't get too excited), I have to do a nude run in front of the Queen's riders at their morning practice. Fair?

Adopted a dog, well it could have been worse I suppose, it might have been a cat, as you are well aware I love the canine creatures, but am not so fond of cats. Lady Alanna was here when I expressed my dislike of them, I thought she was going to challenge me to a duel there and then; apparently she once had a companion called Faithful.

I am getting ready to leave the desert, my men and I have, after a shaky start, become good friends. There are some real personalities among them; they are up for a laugh as much as we would be. The Queen's Riders won't know what's hit them, last time we met they called us pussys, revenge will be sweet…

Are you looking forward to Midwinter services? I have been informed by a little birdie that you and your charming year mates will be serving, this piece of news delighted me. As a sergeant of the Own, I'm coming to the first banquet and ball, the teasing you will receive will be never ending, I'll warn you now! As an added bonus I will get to meet your latest crush, the beautiful Kel.

As much as I would love to continue teasing you I have duties I must attend to.

Your bet winning cousin

Dom

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Please review… Xxxx


	14. Chapter 14

Hey. Sorry this is so short but I've got coursework and national trials coming up for rowing so I'm quite literally run / rowed off my feet. Please stick with me, I've still got plenty of ideas… 

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Dear Dom

You're on! Prepare to embarrass yourself in front of Commander Buri and her merry band of men / women. I am rubbing my hands in glee at the very thought of it! You're like a dog with a bone, I'm not in love with Kel, she's my best friend, (After you of course).

While you and your men are all big talk I am not convinced that you will be able to get the better of the riders, they have always beaten the Own in previous battles of wits. In fact I can almost sense another bet coming on…

Completely changing the subject, do you think that Kel would like a book on philosophy for Midwinter? I know I would love one, (hint hint).

What do you mean you'll be there! Oh I'm ruined! I don't mention that I'm related to you around the court, otherwise I'd be swamped with all your cast off ladies demanding to know where you've gone… Please don't make yourself to obvious around me, tease me all you like in public, but don't speak to me in the hall, or even to Kel, some of the court whores get nasty when their suffering broken hearts…

I'm run off my feet at the minute so this will have to be a short letter. I'll see you at Midwinter!

Your world weary cousin

Neal

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Please review


	15. Chapter 15

Hey, sorry it has taken me ages to update but I've been run off my feet, exams in less then a month and rowing, put together and I have absolutely no free time!

Everything you recognise belongs to Tamora Pierce, so please don't sue me!

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Dearest Meathead!

What do you mean you don't mention that you're related to me! I can tell you that when I read that it was like a dagger being driven into my heart, disowned by my own little cousin! Your reasons however do seem acceptable, I can understand how it would upset you to see all the beautiful women that love me, and don't want you! (Stop scowling; just remember how much you hurt me!)

Your last letter was full of mistakes by the way, I believe you referred to the dainty little court blossoms as "whores", and even made the outrageous claim that they can get nasty, don't be silly, the biggest worry they have is what colour to wear to the next ball! However some of them are extremely pretty, and I never sleep with whores. You are just upset because your darling Kel doesn't dress up in the evenings and ask to dance with you.

Speaking of Kel, please can I talk to her? I was really looking forward to getting the inside gossip on you, besides I want to see if she likes you back. Imagine if she did, the teasing you pair would receive would be second to none! The very thought of it is making me smile to myself!

What do you mean the Rider's beat us every time! That is simply because previous members of the Own have come over all chivalrous and have let them win; I however am abandoning that art and will be as sneaky and as underhand as possible, without actually getting caught!

If your father knew how many bets you are involved in he would be furious! However, as I am such a good boy, (and I am suffering from a rather light wallet after loosing a wager last week), I will have to decline the offer, you'll just have to get the satisfaction of seeing a brilliant trick pulled off!

Well I shall have to go, there are a troop of players nearby and the squad and I are sneaking out for a show, the lead girl is rumoured to be lovely!

Your extremely hurt and handsome cousin

Dom

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Well, I don't personally like this one as much as the others but please review and let me know what you think. Xox 


	16. Chapter 16

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Dear Dom

I can't believe you did it! I never thought she would utter those words, and not only did you win the bet but you got the prettiest girl in the court into your bed – again! The look on her face at breakfast when she realised that you'd gone was hilarious, not so funny was when she stormed to father and announced that she was pregnant and that you are the father!

Now don't panic! Father told her that it was far too early to tell, but he is so cross with you that I suggest you avoid the palace in the near future, in fact it's probably best you don't come back until the summer if you can possibly avoid it…

I saw you making cow eyes at me and Kel at the banquet by the way! Had I been serving you I would have tipped the jug of water over your dark head! You promised that you wouldn't tease me in public! It's only fair that I warn you – my revenge will be sweet, just wait till you fall in love, (not that I'm in love with Kel) I'm going to tell that unlucky lady some tales…

I was delighted by the book on philosophy by the way, I'm presuming it was from you as no one else would address it to, "the biggest Meathead in the palace", what did surprise me was that it reached the correct address. But you are going to have to change that name, if any of my friends find out about it, especially Kel, I will be ridiculed for the rest of my life! (Do not look so gleeful, it is not good!)

Your men seem nice, although I have no doubt that they will be bad influences on you, the man Wolset seemed almost worse then you with his love of practical jokes, I will just have to hope that old ages will calm you down. Happy Birthday by the way: any grey hairs or wrinkles yet? Hope you like the present.

I'll write soon, your completely shocked and as such penniless cousin

Neal

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	17. Chapter 17

Sorry its taken me so long to update, I have no excuses…

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My Dear '_Meathead_'

I see absolutely no need to change my rather endearing name for you, when if I do say so myself, it suits you extremely well. (Don't scowl like that the wind might change and you will be stuck with a face even worse then your own!)

SHE DID WHAT! Mithros Neal you have to help me, I swear I didn't get her pregnant. I'm not that stupid, I may be the court flirt but I would never ever get a girl in a predicament like that and then leave. Go and impress upon her better side, (if she has one) to take back all her lies. My reputation will be damaged beyond repair! Meanwhile I think my squad and I will develop a love for all things in either the far north or distant south…

Did I read right, did you just admit that you 'love' Kel. Now Neal in all seriousness please remember that she is trying for her shield and don't do anything silly that may jeopardise her chances of succeeding… I'm choosing to ignore that hurtful comment about dropping a jug of water on my head. And as for making 'cow' eyes, well cows have nothing on me!

I agree my men are indeed a decent bunch and have similar minds as myself. We are fast getting reputations of being the best tricksters on the Own, a reputation other squads are doing their best to beat. But with men like mine they are going to have to try harder, I mean the best they've come up with so far is to replace all Flydans' clothes with dresses! (Although I'll admit I did find that rather amusing!)

Do you realise that come the summer, (when I pop back to the palace) you and Kel will be squires? As much of a Meathead as you are I am in no doubt that you will pass your Big Exams. Seeing as communications may be difficult if I'm in the north I'm going to wish you luck now, I know you can do it.

Your ridiculously sentimental cousin

Dom

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Reviews would be much appreciated. Merci

Eruanna Eire xxxx


	18. Chapter 18

Well, here's the next letter. Hope you all like! 

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Dear Dom

First of all I must apologise for the delay in this letter. What with the build up to the Big Exams and extra duties I simply haven't had time to put pen to paper! Thank you for the support though it actually meant a lot to me…

Well enough of the mushiness, I'll save that for all the various court ladies that will be falling over me now that I am a handsome squire! You'll have to watch out cousin, whereas before I 'let' you win in our contests now I'll be unstoppable!

Have you heard the news?! That scumbag Joren of Stone Mountain is such an arsehole!

He had Kel's innocent maid Lalasa kidnapped the night before the big exams and Kel tore off to find her! Well you know how much of a stickler the Stump is about time keeping, I swear when I told him that Kel wouldn't be there on time he swelled up like a bullfrog and went about as red as an over boiled lobster! Now I believe in one of my previous masterpieces, (don't look so confused I mean letters) I mentioned how Kel is terrified of heights. Well Lalasa was up on the top of Balor's Needle! I have no idea what possessed Kel to go up herself and not fetch help but she did!

I've heard from one of the servants who was there when she got down, (the outer stair) that she was ashen and bleeding heavily from one leg, but her determination was still there. She was actually prepared to repeat all four years of torture! You can only imagine the delight on her face when Lord Wyldon announced at dinner that she was to be allowed to sit her exams the next day. It's the first time I've every seen her mask completely dropped, replaced by sheer joy, her eyes were shining like beacons!

Needless to say despite the disapproval of certain conservatives she passed with flying colours. Better then most of the boys! We are all so pleased for her; I believe the king was even overheard remarking how pleased he was that she has done so well.

Now, it has come to my attention that the bitch who claimed to be expecting your child is most definitely not and that it is summer time. This brings me to my next question, where are you? I've read and re-read your last letter and it definitely said that you would be here. I was hoping we could go into Corus to celebrate, but i need my resident drinking partner – you!

Your favourite drinking buddy

Squire Neal

PS (Don't be quoting Joren's name to anyone, nothing has been proved yet, but I'm almost 100 certain he's behind it)

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You know the drill by now, please review and I'll try to update faster…

Eruanna Eire xx


	19. Chapter 19

I'm back! Really sorry for the delay in this chapter; almost 6 months... School, rowing and work just completely got on top of me, and with the release of the final Harry Potter book I became addicted to Snape / Hermione Fics...

Well enough of the excuses hope you like this chapter and hopefully the next should follow either tonight or tomorrow.

A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, and stuck with it over the last couple of months.

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Dear Squire Meathead

Congratulations! I always knew you could do it, although now I think about it; I'm sure having already completed half a university degree did help with the academic side… (Don't look hurt, that's actually a compliment).

Lord Raoul was saying that the exams were harder this year then in previous years as the Conservatives were trying to throw up one more hurdle for your Lady Kel. Thankfully she showed true courage and bravery, (exactly the characteristics needed in knights) and not only rescued her maid but passed the exams with the third highest results in the year; before you question my knowledge, Raoul asked for the results off the king.

Awh you miss me! I'll admit that I am the best drinking partner this side of the inland ocean, with my dashingly handsome looks and witty personality; but sadly none of that is doing me any good in this gods forsaken hole that I'm in. The boys and I have been set to dredging the Drell River, the river bed was getting too shallow and it was flooding far too often for the villagers to be comfortable.

I wouldn't mind but all the other squads got to go with my Lord hunting bandits while me and the lads are constantly covered in what has be the thickest blackest mud ever! On the plus side however it is an extremely good lotion for the skin! We were thinking of bottling it and selling it to all the delightful ladies at court. Who would undoubtedly be overwhelmed by our brilliance and fall straight into my / our arms!

Sorry for the somewhat less then cheery attitude of this letter, but I was actually looking forward to coming to celebrate the end of your exams, (don't get used to this sensitive side of me, I think the mud is affecting my head!) Once you get a knight master I'm not really going to get much of a chance to see you. Well with any luck the rest of Third Company will be back to collect us soon and it'll be onwards to the capitol and the best drinking session we've ever had!

Your mud covered, yet still gorgeous cousin

Dom

P.s (Give Kel a kiss form me, you know you want to!)


	20. Chapter 20

Two Chapters in a day! I' quite proud of myself! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews!

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Domitan of Masbolle!

You impertinent mud covered scoundrel! I will not be giving Kel a kiss from you! I have a good mind to show Kel that last letter, she would have a blue fit and with any luck would come after you with that pig sticker of hers!

After your not so pleasant comments I have a good mind to take your delightful men out for drinks and leave you behind! They could, I'm willing to bet be bribed to play the odd practical joke on their darling sergeant. However you did redeem yourself somewhat with that sensitive side you displayed at the last end of the missive. So I have booked us a table at the Jugged Hare for Midsummer's Eve – you had better get your mud covered pretty boy uniform back here for then or I'm out 5 gold nobles!

Now not that I'm panicking, (I'm after all a very level-headed, calm natured, mature person) but its been 3 weeks since the big exams and not one single Knight has taken a look at either myself or Kel. Kel herself is getting somewhat despondent, she's trying to hide behind that god's forsaken mask of hers but just every so often it slips and I see the panic on her face… What is going to happen if she makes it all the way through her page years only to be stopped now! It's just so unfair!

Ha-ha you the ever clean conscience Sergeant covered in mud! I do hope you realise that things have died in that water, and that you're spreading it all over your body! I'll be sure to spread it around court that Domitan of Masbolle is covering himself in rotted dead animals! Ohh how disgusted the fair ladies will be, and, of course the ever dashing Squire Neal will be right there to comfort them.

Oh did I mention that someone bought Peachblossom (the monster horse) for Kel? She is delighted, over the moon in fact, I'm quietly convinced that it was a mean spirited conservative and that he is hoping Peachblossom will be the end of her!

Your Ever Charming Cousin

Neal

P.s Don't forget, you _HAVE_ to be home for Midsummer! I can't afford to lose any more money!

P.p.s You didn't happen to hear where I came in the exam results did you? Only I asked Father and he spouted some nonsense about it being better for my character if I didn't know – rubbish!


	21. Chapter 21

Heya! This might be the last chapter for a couple of weeks as I have the dreaded modules coming up next week and this weekend I'm down in Cork… Don't panic though I will be continuing this piece!

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Dearest fair Nealen

You have shot up in my estimation! A table at the Jugged Hare indeed! You can bet those 5 galleons that even if I personally have to walk the entire way back, I _will_ be in Corus for Midsummer. I don't dare deprive the charming ladies of my delightful presence! They have after all, been without it for a good six months now, (one wonders how they cope…) Also my men have assured me completely whole-heartedly that they would never_ ever_ dream of pranking me, they have far to much respect for me. (They also know that I can make their lives miserable on the practice courts).

I'll have you know that the mud I use is only the finest quality, taken from the sides of that gods forsaken river with absolutely NO dead animal bits floating in it! Besides it isn't really important any more as just this afternoon Raoul rode back in, all good cheer and smiles. He actually had the nerve to laugh at us poor mud splattered critters! (How I cope I'll never know.) Anyway the result is that the entire of Third Company is taking a trip to the Sandrunners tribe in the desert and then will be back, (with suntans might I add) for midsummer.

If you are not interested in the fine Squire Keladry doe that mean you won't mind if I flirt outrageously with her? After all there is only so much one can take of feather brained clones and the Riders quite frankly scare me. (You can wipe that ridiculous grin off your face; I have good reason to be nervous.) Besides, they have their very own resident flirt in Evin Larse.

Well that's all I can think of for now. I have to go and work on my tan! See you in 3 weeks.

Your lady-killer of a cousin

Dom

P.S Don't worry about a knight for Squire Keladry it's all taken care of.

P.P.S I agree with Uncle, knowing your results will do you absolutely no good what-so-ever!


	22. Chapter 22

This story is dedicated to the memory of Sarah, a.k.a Rowan Hood of the Rowan wood. R.I.P

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Dear Dom

It's good to know that you won't have to walk the entire way back to Corus, although the metal image that idea presented me with was brilliant, it made my day. The thought of you tamping back home, mud splattered and your pretty robes all torn. Not even _you_ could make that look seem appealing to the ladies.

Speaking of ladies, do you remember Aine of Eagle's Peak? She used to play with us when we were children? At least she used to play with you, the pair of you were as thick as thieves, always plotting in a corner – I _almost_ felt left out. I say almost because my dashing good looks and witty report always meant you came back to me.

But onto a serious note, she joined the Queen's Riders, (the ones you're scared of!). They answered a call for help the other day; it was on the coast, pirates from the Copper Isles attacking a small fishing village. Apparently the battle was fierce but relatively brief. She went to collect a girl child that was frozen in fear by her doorway. One of the ships mages fired a barrel of blaze balm; the house took a direct hit. I'm really sorry, but neither of them made it. It's not any condolence I know but she was a hero, an incredibly special person. No one will forget her.

Dom I swear if you even try to flirt with Kel and hurt her I will personally hunt you down and kill you myself, cousin or not! That girl has gone through hell and back with all the training and abuse over the last 4 years. She doesn't need a broken heart. Do I make myself clear?

I hope you tan s coming on nicely; it just wouldn't do for you to be lily pale upon your re-emergence at court. It pains me to admit it but I actually heard girls _squealing_ in excitement when they heard that Third Company was returning to court – quite disgraceful! I just don't understand why they want you when they could have me…

Your shocked cousin

Neal

P.S What do you mean Kel is all sorted? What do you know that I don't?


	23. Chapter 23

I know, its been ages - sorry…

I know, its been ages - sorry…

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Dear Nealen

Squire to the Lioness! Well it was nice knowing you, I've put a small bet on with Baron George, (he was riding with us last week on his way up from the coast) I reckon with your tongue and her temper you'll last about a week and a half. He wagered on three days.

Don't get cocky, the only reason I bet so long was that the odds offered were brilliant and she is likely to try and put up with you for a while due to her friendship with Uncle Baird, that however will only get you so far and then wham! You're going to wish you'd listened to me when I told you to play nice and mind your tongue!

Well your Squire Keladry is everything you said and a lot more besides! How come in all your letters you never mentioned her incredible compassion? This month we had to attend the execution of a band of bandits, these men and centaurs had killed innocent people, including young children, threatened Kel and stolen from the poverty stricken, yet she was prepared to forgive them! I personally hate having to watch the executions but I've never seen anyone take them as badly as she did – amazing…

She has also acquired another pet, a piece of winged vermin, known to most of the population as a young griffin. The miserable creature seems determined to eat Kel rather then the food she provides it with… 

Don't worry about her by the way, your charming, delightful, easy on the eyes cousin has dealt with any opposition that may have been directed at her from within the Own, me and the boys had 'discussions' with a couple of the more, shall we say conservative lads and all our differences have now been ironed out.

Well I must go, I spotted a griffins nest this morning and I meant to show it to Kel. Time to go climb a tree!

Your amazing cousin whom you hero worship

Dom

P.S Congratulations on getting the Lioness, I'm proud of you really, who knows maybe with her help you may almost be able to beat me at swordplay! 

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	24. Chapter 24

Dear Dom

Dear Dom

What do you mean you only bet a week!! I'll have you know I've been here a fortnight and the Lioness is in complete awe of me, she tells me everyday that I'm better looking, better at swordplay and far more charming then you! My only small gripe is that she seems determined for me to treat every cold in the entire of Tortall!! I swear if she hears so much as a suggestion of s sniffle it's off to play….

I need all the gift I can get, my body has turned from its normal peachy hue to various mottled shades of black and blue, the patterns emerging over my body are gruesome. It's like I'm a piece of meat that offended her.

Now I need you to tell me seriously, is Kel alright with me having the Lioness as my Knight-Mistress? She doesn't seem wildly disappointed, upset or depressed? I **need** you to tell me if she does.

What in Mithros' name did you let her get a griffon for?! I distinctly remember telling you to look out for her and then you go and do something as careless, as stupid and as dangerous as let her adopt a griffon! Do you have any idea what its parents will do to her if they find her with their baby? And what do you mean it enjoys eating her more then its food? Dom I **demand** you do something? Flirt with the wildmage get her to take it away, Kel doesn't need the pressure of this. Urgh I could ring your neck!

Don't you dare encourage her, going to climb a tree indeed! Dom is it possible that you have fallen for our lady squire? May I remind you that she is 6 years your junior and NOT someone to be trifled with! If you want to flirt go find a court lady.

I met Baron George for the first time the other day, I believe I may learn as much from him as from the lioness. The things you can do with a simple piece of wire….Suffice to say that none of your belongings will ever be safe from me again. As well as lessons in healing and swordplay from the Lioness he is going to teach me stealth. It's embarrassing when I say that the twins are far better at this game of stealth then me. Aly managed to steal my purse, dagger and sword at breakfast the other morning without me noticing. (Don't you dare gloat, she'd have had the clothes off your back!!)

Well I have to go plot my revenge….

Your ever dashing and amazing cousin

Neal


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